The White House Task Force to Protect Students from Sexual Assault (NotAlone.gov) has identified education and skills-building focused on bystander intervention to be one of the key components to sexual assault prevention. They also point out that bystanders lack the skills and awareness to take helpful actions or know how best to step in and intervene.

This lesson provides students the opportunity to build skills, increase awareness and self-confidence by discussing steps to interrupt behaviors that may be offensive, dangerous or cause another harm. In other words, to move from being a bystander to being an upstander. Students will reflect upon different scenarios, discern how and when they can safely practice bystander intervention strategies and learn how to respond if they are in situations when something inappropriate, hurtful, abusive or dangerous occurs.

Open the lesson by communicating your trigger warning. For the bystander intervention, posing scenarios with students consuming alcohol or engaging in sexual activities may not be culturally sensitive. Some students may be hesitant to share their opinions about these scenarios if they do not conform to the perceived norms. Seek out resources and support within your school personnel for help in designing what is developmentally appropriate to communicate with your class.

Through reflection and discussion activities students will prepare to answer these questions:

• How do I define who is a bystander?
• What are the strategies that I can draw upon to intervene in situations when offensive comments are expressed or someone is in need of help?

Introduce the terms bystander and bystander intervention. Ask students to define each term. If students struggle with definitions, offer this clarifying language.

A bystander is anybody who is not a perpetrator or a victim in a given situation. A bystander is a family member, friend, classmate, teammate, coworker—anyone who has a family, school, social, or professional relationship with someone who might in some way be abusive or experiencing abuse.

Bystander intervention teaches people how to intervene, to speak up and take action to influence an event that is potentially dangerous, such as an assault. It is a strategy to change social norms in peer cultures in all age and grade levels.

Transition and organize students into small groups of equal genders. Have students brainstorm a list of safe and and effective strategies to practice bystander interventions. Share their list out in class. After generating their own lists, distribute slips of paper with one statement per slip. Explain that each states a decision or strategy that a bystander may face at a party or online.

Read each statement aloud. Check for understanding and clarify any questions. Ask students to discuss which decision they are more or less likely to make. Why are they comfortable making the choices they did? Why are they uncomfortable? Share in small groups which strategy they selected and why.

Bystander intervention at a party, at school or other social places.

• If you see something that doesn’t look right, intervene in any way you can.
• Be direct. Ask someone who looks like they may need help if they’re OK and if you can help.
• Do nothing. It’s none of my business and the person can take care of themselves.
• Get someone to help you if you need help to intervene. Enlist another friend, a bartender or someone who can help.
• Simply keep an eye on someone who has had too much to drink.
• If you see someone too intoxicated to give consent, enlist their friends to help them leave safely.
• Recognize the potential danger of someone who talks openly about targeting another person at a party and enlist peers and friends to watch and talk to this person and make sure they do not act on their threats.
• Be aware if someone is deliberately trying to intoxicate, isolate or corner someone else. Tell friends what you are witnessing and try to distract the person offering drinks while pulling the other person away.
• Get in the way by creating a distraction, drawing attention to the situation or separating them.

Bystander intervention with social media and online communication

• Immediately delete any photographs/videos that contain nudity and do not do anything further.
• Immediately delete any photographs/videos that contain nudity and report the person to local law enforcement.
• Explain that circulating video or taking photos of anyone who is under the age of 18 while the individual is engaged in anything of a sexual nature is a federal crime and considered to be the distribution of child pornography.

Ask a trusted adult—parent, a teacher or coach—whose opinion you value to get advice on what to do.

For educators: Discussing bystander intervention is a topic for which the developmental age makes a significant difference. With this in mind, recommended grade levels are suggested and a variety of scenarios are included for you to select depending on the age of your students and how you want to steer their conversations. If you select only a few scenarios, keep in mind that they should include a broad range of student identities and experiences and be matched to the developmental level of your students.ⁱ

Guidelines: There are many methods that lead to the successful use of scenarios in your classroom. It may be helpful to start with simple or obvious scenarios and build up to those that are more challenging and require more sophisticated critical thinking.

1. Introduce the exercise to students: Begin the activity with an introduction such as this: The options for discussing these scenarios may seem obvious. Start the exercise by acknowledging the worst outcome, the ideal outcome and then the most realistic outcome. The most realistic outcome is the most probable. Identify and discuss what can get in the way of the most positive and realistic outcome. Remember: While people may know what they should do, it doesn’t always play out that way. Why not? What measures could have been taken to avoid the severity of the situation or eliminate the situation altogether?”

2. Choose the process of discussing scenarios:

Have a large group discussion in which you simply present each scenario: Provide a visual representation by handout or projector, as well as read the scenario out loud.

OR

Divide the class into equal gender groups of four if possible, and assign each group a scenario or several scenarios. Each group should also have a note taker. Reconvene as a large group and have a representative from each group share a summary of their discussion and their decision.

3. Discussing process: Have each small group deconstruct their scenario(s) according to four primary guidelines below.

Identify the power dynamics between and among individuals. Is one of the characters older than the other?

• Who has more social power based on the information given? Is anyone incapacitated? Is anyone more vulnerable because of current relationships or emotional feelings?

Identify and discuss the emotional and physical risks of the situation.

• What is at stake for the people involved? What are the potential consequences should the scenario continue? Is this situation in person or online? Does this matter?

Identify and discuss ethical and moral considerations.

• Is anything ethically wrong with this situation? What do you think is the ‘right thing’ to do?

Assess whether the sexual activity is consensual throughout the scenario.

• Why or why not? An essential question to ask: “What could be done to establish a healthy, reciprocal, and consensual outcome?” If it is consensual, when and how was consent communicated? Encourage students to use concrete examples from the scenario to illustrate their thinking.

4. Scenarios – Choose any number of the following scenarios for small groups to discuss. Allot at least ten minutes for each scenario including time for choosing 1-2 bystander intervention strategies discussed earlier. (Five to ten minutes per scenario.)

(For upper middle school and high school)

Scenario #1

Your friend Matt keeps texting Reese, a girl he is interested in and just started to date. He gets visibly angry and annoyed that she’s not texting back so he wants to drive by her house and see if he can find her. You try to discourage Matt from doing so but he is also your ride home from school so you end up having to go with him. You drive by the girl’s house and she is not home. He continues to text her messages with no response. You notice on his phone that his messages are becoming threatening.

What would you do? How would you describe what Matt is doing? When does it cross a line?

Scenario #2

You are at a party and notice a casual friend of yours, Luke, and girl from another school in the corner. You see Luke grab her arm, shake her and get in her face. There is alcohol at the party but you are not sure how much Luke or the girl he is speaking with have had. He’s talking quietly but very forcefully. You can’t hear what is said and can’t see her reaction except her physical efforts to pull away from him. You continue to glance in that direction and notice that Luke is now taking her by the arm and leading her into a private room. You hear the door lock.

What do you do? What are your options for intervention?

Scenario #3

Your buddy Marco says to you and a group of friends, “I have a good joke for you.” You get a little smile on your face waiting to have a good laugh but instead you hear a joke that is really offensive and degrades women. It describes a situation where a woman is sexually assaulted and too drunk to even put her clothes on. You are really surprised that this group of friends would find this joke at all funny and you say so. These friends start to tease and berate you and won’t let it go. The teasing escalates and these guys start to get physical with you.  What do you do? Is something like a joke a cause to intervene? Why or why not?

Scenario #4

(Note: Remind students of how state laws vary regarding circulating or possessing nude or semi-nude photographs of minors before discussing this scenario.)

You hear of a shared website to which some of your friends are asking female students to post pictures of themselves. You receive the invitation to join the website group and accept the invitation. When you log on to the site you see some semi-nude and nude photographs as well as videos of a sexual nature. Isiah, the friend who invited you to the site asks you later in the day, and in a joking manner, if you found everything OK and asks what you think. [Legal Note: To circulate a video or take photos of anyone who is under the age of 18 while the individual is engaged in anything of a sexual nature is a federal crime and considered to be the distribution of child pornography.] What do you do? What are your options for intervention? Why is this a serious issue? Why is it often ignored?

Scenario #5

Angela, a junior in high school and a friend of yours, has recently come out as a lesbian. At a party that weekend she brings her girlfriend who is from another school. Everyone has been drinking. You notice that Angela’s girlfriend has started to be physical with another girl at the party, Beth, who you know. Beth is not reciprocating the attention and in fact is trying to get away. Angela notices this but tells you she doesn’t want to do anything out of fear of harming her new relationship. You are not comfortable with how Beth is being treated. What do you do?

Scenario #6

Play the 8 minute video WhoAreYou.co.nz. This video portrays a fictional scenario where a sexual assault is about to happen. At 4:33 in the video the direction of the film shifts and students are taken through moments when bystanders step in and interrupt a potential assault. The narrator states, “You could be the difference to how the story ends,” and the final question asks, “What role are you?”

For older high school students this video could be an option, but it is critical to deconstruct the video and allow for student discussion. Here are some helpful guidelines for a large group debrief:

Questions for large group discussion:

• Why would this scenario be considered sexual assault?
• What obstacles (real or perceived) existed that prevented any of the bystanders from intervening in the first part of the scenario?
• Would any of the possible interventions put a person at risk of physical harm? If so, what decisions could be made to still intervene?
• Should law enforcement be called at any point? When? When is the line drawn between personal intervention and intervention by law enforcement?
• Of all the bystanders who witnessed what was unfolding, what was the most difficult moment to step in?
• Once the scenario rewound, what specific strategies did characters use to intervene?

Transition from discussing scenarios to critically looking at Audrie & Daisy and moments of bystander intervention. Identifying these moments is not to suggest that any one of these individuals should have or could have intervened to stop the assaults from occurring, but to learn from the decisions made in the moment.

Interview of Amanda Le, John_B on the evening of Audrie’s assault: 7:00 – 14:00

Charlie speaking about Daisy’s phone: 33:45 – 35:13

Captain David Glidden interviewing Matty B.: 37:50 – 41:20

After viewing these segments, invite students to debrief. Open by reading Charlie Coleman’s comment quoted at the opening of the lesson. “How hard would it have been for Jordan to text me and say, “Why is your sister at Matt’s?” But he didn’t. Nick didn’t. Cole didn’t.”

• Why didn’t his friends intervene? How would they answer his question?

Similarly, what are their reactions to Daisy’s statement. “Because the words of our enemies aren’t as awful as the silence of our friends.”

Invite students to write about a time they witnessed a difficult situation and/or heard about one and remained silent. What prevented them from intervening? In retrospect, what could they have done at the time? Note: Students will not be sharing these reflections with classmates.

ⁱ The method for deconstructing bystander intervention is adapted from Shafia Zaloom, High School Curriculum Guide The Hunting Ground, 2015.